


Forgive & Forget

by McKayRulez



Series: Dark & Disturbed Stargate [11]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Dom John Sheppard, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Episode: s02e06 Trinity, Episode: s03e09 Phantoms, Fear, Forced Relationship, Forgiveness, Hurt Rodney McKay, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loss of Trust, Love/Hate, M/M, Marking, Non-Consensual Touching, Not Happy, Physical Abuse, Post Episode: s02e06 Trinity, Rodney McKay Whump, Trust, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 14:28:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKayRulez/pseuds/McKayRulez
Summary: Rodney knows John's eyes and hands all too well. He's a hunter, and he leaves marks on his prey.





	Forgive & Forget

Rodney shifted uncomfortable against the rough stone and tree bark he way laying against. No matter where he tried to rest, nature poked, prodded and scratched him with branches and pebbles. It also didn't help that his sciatica was acting up. Sitting around was awful, and he was restless. He wanted to be doing something. Anything. Not just wait. Who knows how many more hours the Daedalus would be before they got picked up?

His anxiousness got the best of him and he finally looked down at his bandage where Sheppard shot him. The wild untamed look in John’s gaze as he aimed his gun straight at him, sent a shot of fear through him. Rodney closed his eyes as his breath caught in his throat.

His thoughts wandered as he thought about those eyes. So unseeing, yet at the same time, so laser locked and focused with deadly intent. In that moment, Sheppard was a cold blooded hunter, and Rodney was his prey.

He remembered the first time Sheppard’s eyes could kill. 

After Arcturus. 

The way Sheppard looked at him then and ever since was like daggers to the heart. 

Rodney involuntarily gulped as he thought of what Sheppard could do to him, if angered enough. If his patience ended. If he got sick of his voice, his face, his mannerisms, his whole being.

Would he end their relationship? Whatever that relationship even was at this point? 

He didn’t love him, did he? 

Would he end him and just him alone to condone? 

Darkness to fill his eyes forevermore? 

He didn’t know anymore. 

He didn’t even know if John was a sadist, and took pleasure in it, or if he was just mad at him through and through. 

All he did know was at night he couldn’t sleep, as John laid next to him. That strong, solid body against his, wasn’t as protective and comforting as it used to feel before all this. Before John lost his trust, his temper, and his control.. on him. 

Now his embrace just felt like a prison of bone and disappointments. 

Each time he’d try to get up in the middle of the night, John would turn and loop his arm around him, herding his would be escapee sheep against his bare chest, and Rodney would hold his breath, heart racing, afraid of retribution for disturbing his sleep. 

Rodney opened his eyes and looked down numbly at the gunshot wound as blood started to seep through the white cloth bandage.

If there was anything positive he could take from this, it would be that at least this wasn’t the worst wound John had ever given him. 

Though there would always be more marks to be given.

Many, many more. 

There was a crunch of leaves underfoot, and the sound sent shivers down his spine. 

Sheppard sat down next to him, and put his hand on his leg. 

Rodney instinctively winced and tried to shift away, but the wound sent shocking jolts through his system. 

“Hey.” John’s eyes looked to his, and Rodney looked away. “I said I was sorry.” Sheppard replied roughly and frustrated. His hand tightening against his leg, constricting him in his grasp, and Rodney felt his chest lock up as he froze in panic. 

John brought his free hand to Rodney’s chin and forced him to look him in the eye. Eyes he knew all too well. “I said I was sorry.” 

Sheppard’s iris’s were red hot like lava and Rodney’s cold heart melted at his fiery targeted gaze. “I know..” He forced smiled. 

John gazed at his crooked mouth and brought his lips to his. Rodney did nothing, remaining still as stone, as John worked his way from his mouth, up the edge of his jaw, to his ear. “It won't happen again, I promise.” He whispered. 

Rodney’s chest hurt. He wished the constant sweet lies were true. Wished it with all his being, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew there would be more marks to be given by tomorrow. 

However, the foolish part of his heart, had overridden his brain. Like it does time and time again. He smiled, tears in his eyes and said the same words he said every morning. 

“I forgive you.”


End file.
